Well, I’m still around but am struggling a bit with what to post.
Transformations are going to Patreon/Flickr. I don’t really feel the need to post them here too. I feel like this should be a place for work that is not photomanipulation. I don’t know why. I am managing to update those about once a week now, which is cool. That’s a nice accomplishment.
I am finding that I don’t like the feeling of being obligated to produce though. There’s an extra pressure that I don’t want when it comes to fulfilling rewards because people have paid me money. Even if it’s only $5 per month. Only a couple people are supporting me on Patreon anyway. I think I’ll give it another month or two, but after that I will cancel everyone’s subscription and rethink how I want to use Patreon. Most likely I will just deactivate it.
I’d also like to post more art. But finding time to make things that I’m happy with has been a challenge. My perfectionism is hurting me a lot. I’m using a ton of mental energy just to overcome that, even before I’ve started to work on something.
And then I hear about artists getting their art stolen and having to deal with theft. It just makes me sad. It makes me wonder if pursuing art is worth it. After getting laid off, I thought I’d put my energy into art. But I’m finding mostly I’ve had to take programming contracts to pay the bills.
I guess I’m just feeling burnt out. I’m finding it hard to muster the energy to create and find my voice.