It’s been 4 weeks since my last post! I guess the holidays and everything makes for a good excuse. Thought I’d do some random catching up here.
I was pretty busy writing a movie screenplay for someone. That was another major time commitment. Too bad the gig wasn’t paid. But it was good to just write for a while.
I made a ton of morphs for people, and one of myself. I know Selfie isn’t the most popular show, but I liked it. And I’m a big fan of Karen Gillan since seeing her in Doctor Who.
I feel like I should be writing or drawing more. I don’t know what to say, though. I’m kind of afraid again of what people will think. Or I’m afraid that I won’t be original enough. Or the work won’t be good enough. I have this dream that I’ll create something awesome and reach a huge audience. I also have this nightmare that I’ll create something, build an audience, and then disappoint them.
And since “coming out” online, I’ve kind of relapsed into hiding again. I feel like I have something in me to say, and I almost figured out what that was. But now it’s gone. Like a word that’s on the tip of your tongue but you can’t remember if your life depended on it.
I feel like I should be doing more of something but I don’t know what it is. And that makes me feel guilty for some reason.
In a weird way, I want to make something that is just for me and not be obligated to anyone else. But at the same time, I do feel obligated to make something new, good, and unique for my blog or my social media outlets. It’s this vague, demanding pressure. I’m definitely feeling stuck right now.
I’ve also had to make an effort to read less news. Both regular news and tg related news. In my current state of mind, all the bad news has too strong an effect on me.